The Day that No Body Came.

It happened 2 years ago tomorrow. What it? The death of my husband's daughter. She died suddenly May 10, 2006. Yes, it has been hard on my husband as it is on all parents when they lose a child.

The funeral was set for Monday, May 15. Lots and lots of people came. Yes, they did and I will get around to the title in a bit. The church was full of people and I didn't want to look stupid by looking around to see who all was there. I wish I had gone out before the funeral had started to find that out.

The minister did a good job with the sermon (I don't know why they think they need to do a sermon at a funeral but...). My husband's daughter was really fond of this guy and, from the sermon, he seem to be really fond of her.

Lots of people loved her and they showed her that on that day.

My husband and I were relaxing at home that evening after the funeral. It had been long and trying up to that point but, every body had finally gone home and we could just be us and heal our way. As we looked back at the guest book, we saw lots of names of people we knew and a few names of people we didn't know. It was amazing the number of people that came to show their support to my husband, his family, to his daughter, her husband, and her family.

Yep, I am not in there. I looked up and down that list of names that was in the guest book. I was so hurt. I thought I had established some good solid relationships with the people I teach with and work with every day. I have been supportive of them. The only name in that book of a person that came to support me was that of my father and my step-mother. I can't describe completely how I felt that day. I cried so hard and was so angered that my husband was very concerned that I might do something really stupid once I returned to school.

THAT WAS THE DAY THAT NO BODY CAME!

I looked at my emails the next day and I had 2 from teachers that I consider friends. One had tried to get a sub to come to the funeral but, there were so many teachers out that day that she gave up and just stayed at school. In her email, she told me that she had told her husband that she had made a very grave mistake by not coming to my husband's daughter's funeral. One teacher was gone for a couple of days and didn't know when the funeral was. The rest tried to tell me that they didn't know when the funeral was or how to get a hold of me to find out. Poor excuses. We have a call tree and, I told the principal about the arrangements. Yes, he knew and he told no one and, he didn't show up. I am not surprised by that as I have always felt that he didn't like me however, I did think he would come to support my husband as he has always said he liked and respected him. What a fool I am. The pain of that day is still very strong.

The 1st teacher and I discussed that nobody had come from our school to show me any support. She kept telling me how sorry she was that she just didn't leave and let the principal worry about her class. She told me again that she felt like she was going to pay for that some day. We both discussed that and agreed that that would probably never happen.

Monday evening (this Monday evening), she found her middle son dead. He is only 27 years old. Of course she is devestated. I went to see her Tuesday on my plan period and the 1st things she said was how sorry she was that she didn't make it to the funeral to support me. I told her not to worry that this was not about me. We never believed that this would happen. She still said she was sorry. I am very sad for her as I know her son and really like him. He is a gourgeous young man that is very popular. The people showed that today when they came to his funeral. Yes, I know that because I went.

THE DAY THAT NO BODY CAME, has come to the minds of other teachers at our school. One came to me today to talk about it. She had just realized how bad I must have hurt when no body from our school had showed up at my husband's daughter's funeral. She told me how sorry she was and wished she could get down on her knees and beg to change the fact that she wasn't there. Now, I didn't really know her well when my husband's daughter died. This teacher was new to our building but, she has been able to figure out over time how important it should have been to those teachers that knew me well to be at that funeral. I couldn't tell her how it made me realize that no body at the school cared about me in any way. I still feel that way today after 2 years.

Today, somebody sent my husband and I flowers to school to apologize for THE DAY THAT NO BODY CAME. I appreciate the flowers but, it cannot change the fact that there was no body there to support me from our school.

My husband always tells me that we are not going to be like other people. I fully support that but, today, I wish I could. I did not want to be at that funeral no matter how much I care about this teacher. I wanted so to be like the rest just because it would have made me happy. Yes, that is selfish but, some times, I need to be selfish.

The really sad part here is that, none of the other administrators were at this funeral and they all knew his young man as they had either taught him or coached him or had been at that school while he was there. No principals and no superintendent. I am thinking that this is not a good way to show support to your teachers. I lose more respect for these people every day.

THE DAY THAT NO BODY CAME, is now haunting other people besides me. What a sad day today is and tomorrow will be.