Coming up, May 10, is the 2nd anniversary of my husband's daughter's death. She was 25 years old when she died suddenly. We know what caused the death and are at peace with the cause. She left a beautiful 2 year old boy behind. He was the light of her life. She also left behind a husband that was pretty lost with out her.
Although my husband has gone on with his life and spends time with his grandson, he has days that he has to struggle through. Last year, at this time, he was so down that I became very concerned about him. I know that he goes over and over in his mind how things could have been different. He and his daughter didn't have the best relationship. Not really because of them 2 but, because of interference from her mother and grandmother. He tried to do what he thought was right. He tried to show his daughter how much he loved her just to have it back fire in his face. Now, he has to relive all that and wonder what he could have done that was different.
The whole ill relationship was, as I said earlier, created by his ex-wife. We are not sure why she did what she did but, she did. Funny sentence isn't it? My husband's ex-wife told his daughter lies about her father and the relationship they had when they were married. Daughter believed it all and nothing my husband said could ever convince her differently. Honestly, I think they did manage to work through that.
Then, one day, his daughter went to him at school and asked him how he could put me ahead of her in his life. That whole conversation didn't go the way she wanted, either. We had no idea that she was jealous of me. She and I had always managed to get a long with each other. We never spoke harsh words to each other. Now, what we may have told other people about each other is different. Right up until her death, she still felt that way. Her husband told me once that he couldn't get her past it either. He said she just didn't understand how my husband could put me first.
It breaks my heart to see my husband hurt when I know he tried his best. Most of it could have been changed with a little help from his ex. I know, why would we expect any help from her, she is his ex and they are suppose to mistreat each other. However, it really never was that way. Any time I see her, she always speak, she always did. The two of them didn't split up because of me, I came along after the fact. I never spoke ill about her to her daughter because, I didn't know her and as long as she didn't interfer with my and my husband's relationship, I wasn't going to be ugly. After we moved closer to my husband's daughter (his home town), it was still that way. The ex never tried to interfer with our relationship but she did a good job of butchering her daughter and my husband's.
That is all old stuff now. I wish that there was some way to change what happened but, there isn't. I will just be here for him when he starts having his days. He is a good man and his daughter missed out on knowing that. I will take care of him as he misses her.
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