New year, new semester

My new year has started off pretty good. Not as good as I would have hoped. What I mean is that, last Tuesday, as I sat at my desk in my craft room, I burst into tears and just sat there and cried. I was suppose to go to a basketball game to visit with some friends but, the longer I sat at home, the less I wanted to go to the game. Eventually, my husband called to ask where I was at---called on my mobile. He reminded me that we had friends at the game but, didn't push for me to be there.

The crying is what finally convinced me that, no matter how hard I had been fighting it, I was depressed like it or not. I am not in a deep depression. It is mild but, enough that I have basically cried for no reason on several occasions. Also, another clue was not going to the basketball game to see our friends. Not like me at all. I like to go places but, I have found on several occasions that I would rather stay at home. Another thing that has helped me identify that I finally stepped over the depression threshhold, my craft room is finally fully a craft room. I know, sounds funny but, it was a craft room sharing time as a guest bedroom. My husband finally told me to move the bed out and turn it fully into a craft room. You would think that the very first thing I would want to do every day is get in there and create. Nope, I have been in there and I am creative---even though I am in a dumpy mood. I just haven't spent the time in there that I would normally want to do.

What upsets me about being depressed---I know, nobody wants to be depressed but, I have a reason for not wanting to be---is that it makes me like my parents. You see, I had promised myself every since I reached adulthood that I did not want to be like my mother and father in so many ways (the negative ones) and the depression is the main thing I didn't want to repeat. My mom and dad were both being treated for depression by the time they were my age (actually a little younger). They were seeing psychiatrist and taking medication and neither seemed to be helping. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THEM!

I am a happy person. I am a positive person. I am a creative person. I am not a moody person. I enjoy life fully. But, some of these characteristics are taking a beating right now. I have thought more negative thoughts over the last weeks than I would think in a year. The crying, why, that is for babies. Crying almost every day is ridiculous. And moody, like I was on my period every day. If it isn't depression, somebody please tell me what it is.

How did I get this way...? I will go into that in a different blog entry.

How am I going to combat it...? Again, another blog entry.

A new semester! I love it. That means that we are on the down hill side of our school year. Don't get me wrong---this has nothing to do with my depression. What does have to do with is that we have some 8th graders that made our 1st semester pretty miserable for a teacher or two. Why? Because they are 8th graders and very immature. No, I am not one of the teachers. I do not have problems with any of the 8th graders but, like the rest of the teachers, I am ready for this group of kids to be gone. No, we are not like that with all of our 8th grade classes just one or two every now and then.

The new semester is off to a pretty good start and I am hoping these students will make amends with the teachers they have crossed. I would say that I wish the teachers would make amends but, they didn't do anything wrong and did not get out of line with the students. These kids are just mad because they do not like being corrected or disciplined. I will continue to hope.

The down side of the new semester is that we have state testing in April and I a bit behind on my curriculum. I think I may have spent a bit too much time on the American Revolutionary War. Then, we had an ice storm and missed 4 days of school and when we came back, we only had four days of school before Christmas break. I did not use those 4 days wisely. Now, I am going to have really hustle to get through the civil war by April. I did teach a chapter in two days last week. Well, we read it and did a couple of worksheets for brief reinforcement.

Things will get better with the depression and I will write about how I got there and how I will get out. Check you all later.