Who the heck was I kidding...?

Myself obviously. I have been looking forward to summer since January. Yes, that is when we returned to school from Christmas vacation but I was ready then for summer vacation. This last school year was pretty stressful as I accepted extra duties and we got a class of kids that were pretty egocentric, unmotivated, and had little intention of following rules, instructions or staying within boundaries. So, summer vacation was going to be my savior and I was going to relax and let the summer sooth my frayed nerves and prepare me for the next school year.

Who the heck was I kidding? Again, myself obviously. First, sil wasn't quite finished with the radical chemotherapy/stem cell (his own) transplant treatments he was taking to eradicate the Hodgkin's Disease that came out of remission. There were so many things to worry about going wrong with all of that and the most dangerous was for him to develop an infection. I worried constantly about him and his son. If something happens to daddy, that little guy will be orphaned and he just worships his daddy. SIL has weathered one round of infections since he was released from the hospital. Please, please, please, no more infections until his white cell count is back to normal.

Second, my mil fell in her driveway and broke her shoulder the second week we were out of school. More stress, what am I going to do to relax.... We live next to them and do so so we can help care for them in those times of need. Well, it seems like it has been one of those times every summer since we moved next door. Selfish of me to think this way, isn't it? More stress, I don't like feeling selfish. Luckily, she is healing like she is suppose to.

Third, the one thing that is suppose to help me relax has caused me more stress. Mainly because we have never done this before and I am so in the dark about procedures and etc... We are taking a cruise. Don't get me wrong, I am really, really looking forward to it and especially since the other 2 events but, we are so new to this and one wrong move and we could be our $2200 with not much hope of getting much of it back. So, worried about the passports...got mine in 3 weeks, YES! It took six weeks to get Scott's and I started to worry that our mailman put it in the wrong mail box (yes, he does that from time to time) and that if he did, the owner of that box just threw the passport away instead of putting it back in their box. That was stress I really didn't need.

Fourth, I had to take my cat to the vet to get neutered and wormed. He has never, ever been away from our home site. He was born here. When I had to cage him over night to make sure he didn't eat or drink, he started stressing and so did I. Thank goodness he trusts me so much. He calmed down pretty quickly and got through the night okay. Well, the major stress began the next morning when I had to load him in the car and go to the vet. I felt like the worst person in the world. He cried half the way there and I cried all the way there. More stress, I couldn't stand it. I even cried at the vet's office. You would have thought I was taking him in to be put to sleep. Thank goodness he is home.

Fifth, my sister is having back and neck problems among other things. I am so sad and sorry for her. I worry about her more than she knows. She has tried so hard to have a normal, loving family just to have her ex husband screw everything up just to make her unhappy. The back and neck is not good because she is risking losing range of motion and other things with any surgery she may have to have done.

Sixth, I have a toothache. I don't need a toothache. I don't need anymore stress.

Like I asked, who the heck was I kidding? Relax all summer and go to school feeling refreshed and alive? Ha! I am going to be lucky if I get to relax two weeks before school starts back.

Maybe the relaxation will come with the start of a new school year.....

I think I am going to need one.